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Sunday, February 1, 2009

5 Levels of Love for Moms to Experience on Valentine’s Day

By Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman

Mothers do so much that often the love we pour out on a daily basis becomes so habitual that it goes unnoticed. Valentine’s Day is a cool holiday because it causes us all to take pause and be more conscious of the love in our lives. This does not just include romantic love but love in general. So, today I am suggesting that this Valentine’s day we moms take stock on 5 different levels to appreciate the love we’ve created and the different streams that we source on a daily basis.

1. YOUR KIDS: Start a Ritual with your Children: Begin a tradition of exchanging homemade Valentines with your children. Create big Hearts on construction paper so that you can write their age on it and include all the things you love about them and all the wonderful things they accomplished that year. Even if your child is too young to appreciate it now, it will be a keepsake later. As your child is older, he or she can also make you a Valentine and it will be a sweet simple way for you to share your love for each other that year.

2. YOUR MATE: Do something special with your Husband: Moms get so busy multi-tasking that sometimes it is hard to find romantic time alone with your spouse. Let Valentine’s Day be a night to let your mate know what you love and appreciate about him. Maybe this means getting a babysitter once your kids go to sleep or (if you need to) planning a romantic night at home. Do not let another day go by without stopping to let your mate know how much he means to you.

3. YOUR SELF: Do Something Loving for Yourself: Often as moms we come last on the list. When you were running around getting gifts for Valentine’s Day did you stress about what to get yourself? You may think I’m joking but you are at the center of it all and you need to refuel and love yourself too. Maybe it will be stopping to take a bubble bath or hiring a masseuse to come to the house for an hour. Think about something you would delight in and give this to yourself, if only for a few hours. You deserve it!

Connect With Loved Ones: Make a list of the people in your life that you most value. Take a few hours and write a card to the top 10 (and if you can, even more). Valentine’s Day is a great time to stop and acknowledge all the love you receive on a daily basis and let those people know the impact they have on you. Remember, a lot of people don’t have lovers or spouses and even if they do, do not underestimate the importance people feel when they know that they matter.

Honor Your Higher Self: Whether its god, the goddess, Mother Earth, your Higher Self, humanity or the planet, take time to connect with universal love today. This is that energy that is ever present and larger than our ego, pettiness and the transience of our daily lives. This is our connection to that Higher Spiritual essence that resides within us and connects us with all life, giving us meaning. You can do this in a way that feels right to you. Take a walk in nature when you wake up, go to a temple and pray, light a candle on your altar or do a meditation where you visualize that Higher energy and have an inner dialogue. Find some way to honor that Spiritual loving energy in your life today.

Dr Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist and author of 'Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart' by Atria Books, award winner of the national Best Books 2008 in the category of Self Help: Relationships, sponsored by USA Books. She’s the Director of www.mydatingschool.com which offers coaching and classes in unconscious mating. She was a speaker of The Learning Annex and an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show. She has been quoted in publications such as MSN.com, USA Weekend, Lifetime.com, Reader’s Digest, ‘Glamour,’ ‘Seventeen’ and ‘Complete Woman’ magazine. Paulette is married and lives in Brooklyn with a seven month old son named Noble! She is also a regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama on topics related to relationships.