By Jeffrey Kishner
Parents don't choose their children -- children choose their parents. At least from a karmic perspective, that is. We are all unique expressions of a moment of time in the Cosmos, as reflected in our horoscopes. And if you believe in astrology -- namely, that the movements of the celestial bodies correspond with our lives here on Earth -- then you might accept the idea that, before we incarnate, we "choose" the exact time and location of birth so that we can tackle life lessons that are part of our karmic path.
I'm not normally this New Agey, but as a parent, the above concept helps me to put the task of raising a child into a wider perspective. I'm not sure exactly why my daughter, an Aries who is extremely "fiery," would choose to be born to two "watery" parents -- a Pisces (me!) and a Scorpio (my wife). As you know, fire and water don't mix. Or rather, they best they can do is create steam. And you could accurately say that our household is often "steamy," with tempers rising more frequently than we, as parents, anticipated.
Face it -- you have little control over the personality of your baby. You can run compatibility reports when choosing a mate -- "Should I marry a Taurus or a Cancer?" -- but with a child, you just have to accept whatever pops out of your womb. Funny thing is, you end up loving your child no matter how astrologically incompatible you are, whereas a great match with a spouse is no guarantee of everlasting affection.
True life lessons come from being a parent. You have to live with your child no matter how much you rub each other the wrong way!
You cannot meld your child to become a mini-you. Any child's horoscope is a "soul snapshot," describing how they'll ideally express themselves. However, the pressures exerted on children from parents and society result in inhibition, and, in the words of a psychotherapist, the development of a "false self." It can take years of counseling for a young adult just to shed these layers to reveal their true being. And your job, as a parent, is to do as little harm as possible.
With an understanding of your child's horoscope, you can do your best to raise them to be who they truly are. My basic orientation is to imagine (Pisces) and observe with detachment (Aquarius Moon), yet my daughter is impulsive and independent (Aries) as well as attention-seeking and wildly creative (Leo Moon). My job is to put myself aside and to help her cultivate the best qualities of her horoscope, and to minimize its negative expressions. Like it or not, we as parents must socialize our kids, and each zodiac sign has characteristics that we don't want to encourage. My challenge is to help her retain her independence, self-confidence and fiery spirit, yet simultaneously discourage her from being so independent ("hard-headed") that she won't ask for help; assist her in controlling her anger so that she doesn't throw things; and teach her that there are times when she will not be the center of attention.
The lessons we teach will be different for each zodiac sign. A Gemini sometimes needs to learn how to focus. A Libra needs to learn how to make a decision and stick with it. Yet if you squash the curiosity out of a Gemini or encourage a Libra to only take themselves into consideration, you are causing possibly more harm than you can imagine. The Sun sign shows how we shine, and our children's spirits cannot burn brightly when they are taught to be other than who they are.
Jeffrey Kishner blogs at Seduction Central about the astrology of sex, love, romance and relationships. He used to live in Park Slope, but moved to Windsor Terrace a year ago so that the wife and kid could have a backyard. Jeffrey is available for astrology consultations -- call him at 347-423-4631.