By Kim Kirkley
If I offered you a hundred dollar bill, would you take it? What if the bill had mud all over it, would you still take it? Until I experienced something like this, I thought this was an easy question. Take the money! The intrinsic value of that bill endures through mud, hail, sleet, rain, snow or slime, right?
I attended a marketing seminar in April, realized I had been undervaluing my services and raised the fee for ceremonies, significantly. My couples still see that I offer great value – an elegant ceremony full of memories that will last a lifetime. A while ago, I had a cold. Because their ceremony was coming up so quickly, I met with a couple anyway. We really connected and they verbally hired me on the spot. The meeting ended with hugs. I could feel the love.Throughout the night I teased myself, saying, "I don't know if I would have hired me with such a drippy cold!" Then I would chuckle to myself. I did this more times than I would like to admit. Don't you know, after I returned home from marrying an Australian couple in Central Park, I learned that she "felt cheated," since her friends paid so much less for my services. Her comment cut me like a knife. I perform ceremonies from my heart, bringing all of my skills and passion to each ceremony. My couples recognize and appreciate this.
I let the cold get me off track. I know that I am responsible for every thing I think, speak, or do. People feel those vibrations. My intrinsic value and that of my services remains -- sick or not. We know that it is not okay to make fun of others but how do we treat ourselves? -- Especially when we are down, sick, unemployed, or just feel like "losers."
Here is what I know – every human being is worth it. Whether employed or not, sick or well, dirty or clean, a felon or a financier. Whatever you may be "missing," you are worth more than all the riches of this earth. You are human. In the immortal words of Earth, Wind and Fire, "Life has found the time to want you. Can you find the time for blissin'?"
My charge to you is for you to fall in love with yourself. Court yourself. You know when you are really smitten with someone you spend time trying to figure out what makes "them" happy? Do that for you everyday. Please know that whatever happens to you, you are worth it. It is not happening to you, it is happening for you – for you to see your intrinsic worth no matter the circumstances.
That's why I can say I am glad that couple backed out of our agreement. I learned a lesson that will help me to stay in the right vibration, the next time life serves me a curve ball. If you would like some help seeing your worth, give me a call. I would love to coach you through it. The first call is always free.
4 Tips to Increase Your Sense of Self-Worth
- Praise Yourself: Look for the good in every thing you experience. Treat yourself as you would a cherished child. Take your cues from a baby learning to walk. Every time she falls down, she gets back up. She doesn't dwell on her "mis-steps" or "mis-takes." She lets them go so she can grow. In spite of evidence to the contrary, she knows she can walk and gets up again and again, usually with a smile. When she learns to walk she is so happy! This is how we learn to succeed and believe in ourselves. Never give up!
- Only Say Positive Things to Yourself About Yourself: This is the key. It sounds simple but for most of us this is our life's work. No more calling yourself names or saying things like "just my luck" or "duh!" You deserve better. Words have power. Say good things to yourself and you will feel better about yourself. Make this a commitment. Be a good friend to yourself.
- See yourself as you wish to be. Write down you vision for your best life. Where are you? Who are you with? What do you to make a living? What do you do for fun? Dream big dreams for yourself. Feel yourself living this life. Every morning and night really plug into this vision for yourself and your brain will take you there. Believe that this is achievable and it will be. Just like a baby learning to walk, it is your belief in things that makes them possible.
- Ask for guidance. If you see someone doing something you wish to do, study. Read books about the thing and talk to experts in the field. I love to read yet there is something sacred about person-to-person learning. Effective communication is an offering to the listener. It is an investment in another. It is something uniquely human. When we really connect, person-to-person, we adjust our message so that it resonates with the listener. Through eye contact, gestures and nonverbal cues, we care about being understood. This is why I love being a Celebrant and a Coach. My life's mission is to really connect and inspire. Although we may feel unhappy, lost or lonely, we don't have to be unhappy, alone or lonely. Regardless of the situation, there is always a way to a better day. If this sounds unreal to you, I suggest you read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, chronicling his experiences in a concentration camp and finding a reason to live.
Having buried both of my parents, experienced job loss, cancer, depression, infertility, and self-loathing all to build a successful business, fulfilling life and to know more happiness than I knew was possible, I am uniquely qualified to be your "Happiness Coach." If you reach out, I am here. To get started please email me at CelebrantKim@gmail.com. I will be glad to give you the contact information for the free, live teleseminar.
