The Hunt in Red October

By Abbi Crutchfield

While most people are trading their spring welcome mat for an autumn wreath to hang on the door, others are wondering where they will live next and if the space will have any doors at all. My two friends are looking for an apartment they can share as newlyweds. Before getting caught up in the details of whose stuff should go (answer: both. They have horrible taste), they need a place to put it all. This is no easy feat when you’re relegated to searching online.

One stumble block is the number of brokers who misrepresent the places they have to show. “Close to the subway” means by bicycle, “pet friendly” means floors so warped your dog won’t make a difference, and “by the park” means in a completely different borough…Yellowstone Park. The other impediment is the actual apartments. The ones the brokers have to show are the ones you will find on your own. Living above a restaurant might mean noise out your window, smoking by your entrance and furniture on your roaches. Forget about relaxing atmosphere, you might as well buy Chow mein-scented candles. Excuse me, I just thought of a housewarming gift my friends will love.



A comedy virtuoso, Abbi Crutchfield keeps her plate full in New York city with writing, performing stand-up, improvisational comedy, creating sketches, starring and directing in short films and producing a live comedy hour show in Park Slope called The Living Room. She is also a regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama.

To find out more about how Abbi and her fiance met and got engaged visit their wedding site on theknot.com For a daily laugh, read her Curly Comedy blog.

Posted by Monkeydoodle at Sunday, September 28, 2008