Hip Slope Mama is Partnering with PSP Career Networking for Their First Event on Thurs, Oct 22, 2009!

Hip Slope Mama is partnering with PSP Career Networking for their first event! Hope you'll join us.

Meet & Greet and Panel Discussion
Thursday, October 22nd 7-9pm at Park Slope Eye, 682 Union St. (btw 4th & 5th Ave.)

This event is for members of Park Slope Parents Career Networking group. If you are interested in joining, please contact LB Eisen, one of the co-founders. There is a fee associated with membership. Email: lbeisen@mac.com The evening includes: schmoozing with other Park Slope Parents interested in career change and networking, panel discussion of 3 wonderful speakers on relevant topics, a business card raffle and snacks! The speakers are all parents, all balancing work & family, and all coming to tell their story and answer your questions.


Here's the scoop:
7:00-7:30pm - Mix & Mingle
7:30 - 8:30 - Panel Discussion and Q&A
8:30 - 9:00 - More chatting and raffle


PANELISTS:

1) JOYCE SZUFLITA - Owner & Founder of NYC SCHOOL HELP will discuss her path from artist to entrepreneur - including the business ideas that didn't take off and the one that did! Now a busy, small business, based right here in Park Slope.

2) STEPHANIE HILL WILCHFORT - Full-time, working mother in the corporate world and founder of the popular blog, MAMA BEE. Will discuss issues she and many women deal with, regarding policies and how society makes it easy or difficult for women to have a work life balance. Plus, how and why it works for her to be full-time working and a mom.

3) NANCY COLLAMER - Professional Career Coach and Founder of the JOBS AND MOMS CAREER CENTER. Will discuss what a career counselor/coach actually does, offer ideas for re-inventing yourself to enter a new industry and offer thoughts on when you or a spouse is without work.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Wednesday, October 14, 2009

They Don’t Call ‘em the Terrible Twos for Nothing

By Rachael Nachtwey

Although I’ve taken care of many kids throughout the years, I’m never fully prepared for the frustration of the defiant toddler. I’ve seen even-tempered little ones undergo the most rapid personality changes, leading one to question if some little demon had burrowed in. My toddler niece fascinates me with her ability to play happily one second, then become red-faced and spout irrational tears the next. And Ethan, my normally obedient two-year-old charge, has recently decided that he is going to “forget” every rule that he had previously learned. In fact, he seems to have identified several Rachael pushing buttons and I, in turn, have learned what really turns my crank.

One recent afternoon, Ethan was definitely displaying some testing behaviors (i.e. doing the polar opposite of everything I had asked of him). However, as the day progressed, he seemed to be shaping up so I allowed him to take his new scooter outside. After several blocks of good behavior, I decided it was only fair to reward him on a warm, sunny day with some ice cream. Still donning his adorable dome shaped helmet, we sat on the steps of the Tasti-Delight, sharing a melting cup of vanilla soft serve.

As he proceeded to dump the remaining bit, I said, “All right. Let’s get going to the park!” at which he jumped up and yelled, “More ice cream!”

“You just had ice cream, silly!” I laughed. “Another day.” Now I don’t know if there was any correlation between the ice cream and the crack-like induced state that followed but here’s what happened:

Even though he didn’t tantrum or even really complain, within seconds, the horns surfaced. After scooting a few feet down the sidewalk, he suddenly stopped, dropped the scooter and just started running! The kid was greased lightning, I do not jest. I bolted and managed to grab him by the collar which made me feel like sort of bow-tied store clerk from the 50’s who was going to teach “those darn hoodlum thieves a lesson!” I pulled him close to me, got down to his level, and said, “What are you doing? You can’t run off like that!” while pointing at the cars that were “very, VERY dangerous!” I thought it registered in his expression. He looked solemn enough. A bit remorseful, too? Or so I thought…

We started off again but within moments, he dumped the scooter once more and at this point, I wondered if he was just getting tired. Spotting some chairs in front of the Tea Lounge, I suggested a little rest. We had just plopped down when without any warning, he popped out of his chair and sprinted toward the street. My heart in my throat, I commenced some sort of military move, launching myself and tackling him. Once I had him in my grasp, I proceeded to lose it.

“That’s IT!” I yelled, not caring that the patrons of the Tea Lounge were now staring at the spectacle that had become The R&C Show. I carried him back to the chair and firmly planted him down. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO RUN OFF! YOU COULD GET HIT BY A CAR!!” I shouted. What was killing me about this whole situation was that he knows these rules. Very well.

We were nose to nose when I said, “You need a TIME OUT!”

He squirmed, whimpered, and cried for Mommy. He tried more than once to get out of the chair, which ratcheted my irritability up to the nth degree but by the time the two minutes were over, I think we had both calmed down. I took him by the hand and said, very evenly, “No park. We’re going home and you have to hold my hand the whole way there”. I couldn’t get horrific visions of him running in front of a car out of my head.

Ethan knew that he had pushed his Rachael a bit too far. Typically, he fights me when I grab his hand but this time, he allowed me to hold it firmly the entire walk home. By the time we arrived, I was completely exhausted and suggested some quiet time. He asked to play with his wooden blocks which seemed like a fine idea.

How wrong I was! He got way too keyed up by the construction and subsequent destruction of his towers. As he excitedly rummaged through his booty of blocks, he threw one of the large ones behind him, accidentally smacking me right above the eye. Hard.

The combination of extreme pain and general frustration with the entire afternoon caused me to burst into tears. I ran into the bathroom to examine the damage and also to minimize the fear I was probably evoking in Ethan. I also realized I was very much in need of a breather. As I sobbed over the bathroom sink, I could hear Ethan pressing his face to the door.

“It’s all right, Rachael, yes? You be okay?” His sweet little voice through the door sounded so genuine, so grown up for his two-year-old body.

After I had collected myself, I said, “Yes, I’ll be okay”.

We all have our moments, I guess, when we need to lose it, whether that’s with our scooters, in the sandbox, or over the bathroom sink. When Ethan’s mom came home and I told her what had happened, she demanded that he apologize. “I sorry, Rachael” he said, burying his head into her shoulder.

Amazing how powerful an apology is, even from a toddler. Even more meaningful? Knowing that his mom has removed the wooden blocks from his toy chest because unlike Ethan, I don’t look so cute in helmets.

Rachael Nachtwey is a Brooklyn Nanny, a freelance writer and regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama. She can be reached at Rachael.Nachtwey@gmail.com. She also writes on her blog at www.thenightway.blogspot.com

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Creating in the Middle of Things

By Rahti Gorfien

My son’s two sibling friends are challenging, high-spirited kids. Their mother is a saint; she’s my ace-in-the-hole, my last minute go-to buddy in the trenches of childcare; anytime, any day any place, she’ll take Harper with her and care for him as one of her own.

Well, tonight it’s payback time: it’s her 10-year wedding anniversary, so here we are, my husband and I, doing our best to make it through a much anticipated (by the children) and much dreaded (by us) Sleepover, fraught with “he started it’s and “that’s not fair”s and “I want that one”s and on and on and on. It’s 10:00PM. Never mind where your children are; do you remember why you had them? Thank G-d for pizza, ice-cream, popcorn and DVDs. Of course, then there’s the little matter of what to watch first. Turns picking are taken, coins are flipped, tears are shed, bribes are made. Finally, it’s Beddy-Bye-Bye-Time: pajamas, teeth brushed, faces and in some cases feet washed, (bathe them all? You’ve got to be kidding!) And yes, you have to try to go to the bathroom before you go to bed. As I write this, Richard is up at the Story-time bat, and unless it’s my imagination, things are starting to settle…

No, I spoke too soon. “I’m thirsty’ I hear a plaintive little voice declare. My son has somehow materialized at my bedside. ‘Rahti, I’m hot’ complains a littler one, right on his heels (the heat is blasting, which has really enhanced the evening.) Containing my annoyance, I tend to their needs, and once again am back at my laptop. It grows quiet. But I know better than to get too excited. It’s not over ‘til it’s over, not before the sun rises and the pancakes are eaten. My prayer, aside from their safe-keeping, is that the bunk-beds and sofa remain dry. My husband is not bearing up all that well, but he’s here, thank goodness.

I don’t remember my father being present at all during sleepovers. I’m sure he was around, but it felt like he’d left the country. Laughter erupts in the living room on the other side of the bedroom door. Fart-poop-name-calling silliness ensues. A tattle-tale runs into my room. I instruct him to threaten the others for me, and am reminded of a childhood friend’s father when I was growing up. Half-conscious, beached in his Easy-Boy chair, he’d rouse just enough to yell at the eldest of his 8 kids: “Joey, go over and kick your brother’s ass for me”. Now, back in the day, that was a hands-on dad. I’m taking a bit of poetic license here, of course. He’d do his own ass-kicking.

(I need to confess something here: I just plagiarized myself. That memory was lifted from a semi-autobiographical solo show I wrote and performed 10 years ago. Gives me pause to wonder whether I’ll ever be immortalized that way, by one of my son’s contemporaries. One of the kids sleeping over tonight, in fact, has quite a talent theatrically, and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if I end up being less than flatteringly caricatured on some off-off Broadway stage someday. I certainly had moments worthy of that this evening.)

Inevitably, I am back at the children’s bedsides. Naturally, the ‘I miss my mommy’ stage has begun. But that’s a good thing: that place of vulnerability is a charitable moment, as it usually signals imminent sleep.

It’s funny: I’ve been fighting this month’s blog. I haven’t been seized by any specific theme or axe to grind, which makes it harder to write. A mentor-coach of mine, Dr. Eric Maisel, talks about ‘creating in the middle of things’. What an apropos subject on the cusp of the holidays! A recent seminar I co-led with him triggered the subject. And what better setting for Creating in the Middle of Things could there be than the chaos of a sleep-over? It’s exactly what I needed to write this blog. There is no perfect time. You have to create despite the circumstances. And what better circumstances could there be to demonstrate that, than a fidgety bunch of kids having a slumber party?

Incidentally, if you could use a little support with this, I'm about to launch a coaching group for freelance and artist parents who constantly contend with this very challenge, and there’s room for one more! To find out more about that visit Creative Calling Coaching. I do hope to see you there!

Rahti Gorfien, of Creative Calling Coaching, is a Life Coach and Park Slope mom, specializing in creative mothers with universal and yet unique challenges to succeed both personally as mothers and professionally as artists. She is also a regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama. Join her Yahoo Group for additional tips and essays.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Dangers of Reading in Bed (and other ways to avoid a stiff neck)

By Jennifer Brilliant

Do you feel stiff in the morning after you’ve slept ‘wrong’? Can you look over your shoulder with ease while driving? Do you sense that if you could just stretch your neck out enough, it would feel better? Sometimes we feel that our necks aren’t flexible enough. But if we consider our neck as part of our whole spine rather than as a separate part, then we may be able to discover the mobility we desire.

Because of their smaller size (about the size of a quarter), the vertebras of the neck are actually some of the most mobile of the spine. The neck can move freely on the foundation of the shoulder girdle and be integrated with the whole spine.

Some neck tightness stems from flattening the cervical (neck) vertebra. The seven cervical vertebras have a natural, swan-like curve that moves towards the Adam’s apple. When this natural curve is diminished, the muscles of the neck become over-straight, over-stretched and taut. Like taffy that is gooey when warm and then stiffens, our neck muscles can begin to freeze into a flatter shape. The levator scapula (the muscle that moves the shoulder blades) can go into spasm. This can happen suddenly because of whiplash or a forceful sneeze. Or it can develop slowly over time from repetitive exercise, like swimming the crawl, which can tighten the chest muscles. It can also happen from something as mundane as reading in bed with the neck pressed flat against a pillow. Some jobs cause us to lean forward and down over desks, which also flattens the curve of the neck. And let’s not forget how cradling a phone between your ear and your shoulder, especially the small cellular models, can overly lengthen the muscles along one side of the neck.

When we feel tight, we think that we should stretch. But, that is not always the best choice. For a stiff neck, it is best to wait until the spasms dissipate. To change this pattern of gripping in the neck muscles, the neck and shoulders must regain tone (resiliency) – not only the release of stretching. Avoid the desire to ‘test’ and stretch your neck a lot. Neck spasms take time to resolve. You can still workout or practice yoga without the inversions that are weight bearing on the head or neck. Forearm stand and handstand are okay if they don’t cause any pain.

To look over your shoulder when driving with ease, turn your shoulders as well as your head and neck. If you feel stiff in the morning, check that you don’t fall asleep in the fetal position with your chin tucked way in towards your chest (this will also over straighten the neck too). If you want to read in bed, back up and sit on your buttocks!

Below is a series of exercises that may be helpful. But, if you neck does not improve after a couple of weeks - get some professional, medical help from someone that you trust.

1. LIE ON A ROLL

Begin by lying on the floor with the shoulder blades on a small roll. The arms extend out to the side at shoulder level. This will bring the shoulder blades strongly in contact with the rib cage. Tightness in the muscles around the shoulder blades and the neck can be consciously released in this position. Make sure the neck has its natural curve towards the ceiling. If this is uncomfortable for your neck place a support under your head or make the roll under your shoulder blades smaller. Stay a few minutes with steady breathing and a relaxed neck, throat, and collarbones.

2. EAGLE ARMS

Roll to your side to come off of the roll. Lie back down without the roll. Arms still extend out to the side at shoulder level. Bring the arms across the chest into eagle arms. First the right elbow crosses above the left elbow in front of your chest. Then cross the forearms to press the back of the hands towards each other, finally weave the arms further to press the palms together. Feel the spread at the back of the shoulders and upper back. Let your neck be free and in its natural curve for 5 – 8 slow breaths. Sometimes when we concentrate, we pull the chin in which can press the neck flat. Concentrate, but not too hard. Repeat with the left arm on top.

3. SUPINE TWIST

With the arms open at shoulder level and the palms facing down, move your knees towards the right. Allow your knees to separate. At first, keep your face towards the ceiling without turning your head. Feel a sense of ease in the neck where it meets the torso. To complete the spiraling twist of the spine, turn your head towards the left by engaging the right shoulder blade towards the rib cage. You can imagine the roll (Exercise 1) helping to draw the right shoulder blade into connection with the rib cage. Use the support of your right shoulder blade to turn your face with ease to the left. Stay for 5 – 8 smooth breaths.

4. COBRA

Lie on your belly and place your palms face down at the level of your chest. Begin with your forehead on the floor. If this is difficult you can place you forehead onto a folded towel. Lengthen the spine from the tail to the crown of your head. Gradually lift your head, lengthening each vertebra of the neck before lifting it, by moving your forehead along the floor before lifting it, moving your nose along the floor (then lifting it,) and moving your lips along the floor (then lifting it), then the chin. This is a great place to use your creative imagination to articulate the neck. Use your arm strength to support your lengthened and lifted spine. The legs also work to support the emerging spine. Breathe in cobra for an amount of time that is appropriate for your ability.

5. DOWNWARD DOG

Begin on all fours. Place your hands under your shoulders (or even a bit wider if you feel restricted in your shoulders.) Your knees should be about as wide as your hips. If you are tight in the hamstrings, then place your knees wider. Tuck the toes and lift the knees off the floor. Begin to extend the legs and move the weight of the body up and out of your hands and towards your feet. This takes strength and flexibility. In downward dog, the head releases down from the spine. What a relief for the neck to allow gravity to lengthen and align upside down with no effort. Avoid pressing the chin in towards the chest. Allow the head to dangle so that your ears are approximately in line with your upper arms. Downward dog brings vitality into the upper body.

Jennifer Brilliant is a Park Slope mother and the owner of the Jennifer Brilliant Yoga and Personal Training Studio in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Jennifer has nearly 20 years of experience guiding people in athletic, therapeutic and creative movement. She is a regular contributor for Hip Slope Mama. For more about Jennifer Brilliant and the classes she offers visit JenniferBrilliant.com

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Dear Dr. Laura: How Do I Work With, Rather Then Against, My Strong-willed Child?

Hi Dr. Laura,

My daughter is 4 and is one of the strong-willed children. We seem to have a good rhythm at home and we are already doing what the website recommends to foster a good relationship and work with them rather than against. I think we understand each other.

My question is regarding school. She is in preschool and just started. The complaint at school is that she is a "free spirit" and doesn't seem to hear her teachers sometimes. I know she can have a tendency to not do things on the first request, but I also know she is a good kid, and a good person. So, we have implemented a stamp chart to jump start her following them with a reward system. This is the only thing that works for her, because coming down with negative reinforcement only seems to make a behavior worse and just upsets her and brings her down.
Any other suggestions?

Sincerely,
Free Spirit's Mom

Dear Free Spirit's Mom,

Congratulations on having “a good rhythm at home” with your strong-willed daughter. That’s a testament to your parenting!

Regarding preschool, and your daughter not “hearing” her teachers sometimes: You are so right that clamping down with negative reinforcement will upset your daughter and make her less likely to cooperate. It sounds like you’ve already established with your daughter the expectation that she needs to respond quickly to a request from a teacher, so she knows what she needs to do. Let’s look at what could be going on for her that’s keeping her from doing it.

First, your daughter has just begun preschool. Most likely, it’s a bit overwhelming. The separation from home and parents, new expectations for behavior, rambunctious kids, high noise level, the cornucopia of books, toys, and stimulation...Kids respond to all this new experience in different ways. Some are quiet and withdrawn, some are hyper. Some protest the separation from parents. Some behave perfectly at school but fall apart once they get home. Some wet their pants, or the bed at night. Some push, hit, or bite their peers. And some “don’t listen.” It’s probable that your daughter is trying to manage her stress level by limiting the demands on her and resisting transitions. As she feels more comfortable in the classroom, she will be more responsive to expectations there, particularly if the teacher can avoid making this into a power struggle. That gives us three important ideas about how to help her to make this transition quickly and positively.

1. Help your daughter establish a good relationship with the teacher, which is always the fastest way to get a child cooperating at school. Talk with the teacher about this. An experienced teacher will understand that the child needs to emotionally attach to her, and will find a way to give her a little extra attention.

You can also be helpful in the process. Much of any relationship is in the minds of the participants, so help your daughter develop a feeling of familiarity and affection for her teacher, regardless of what kind of teacher she is. Make the teacher a part of your daughter’s life by talking about her. “I’m pretty sure that Ms. Williams will read your favorite book sometime if we bring it to school....Ms. Williams told me today how hard you worked on that project....Ms. Williams would love this drawing... Do you want to bring this shiny red apple to Ms. Williams?”

Take a photo of your child and her teacher together. Put it on your refrigerator and speak to it fondly. “Ms. Williams, you will be so impressed with what a great cleaner-upper my daughter is...Ms. Williams, do you love spaghetti as much as my daughter?...Ms. Williams, we are so lucky to have you as a teacher, we love that classroom with all those toys and books!” As your daughter lives with the teacher’s photo, she will begin to see her teacher as an important person in her life, which will help her to listen to the teacher’s requests.

Note that it doesn’t really matter what kind of teacher Ms. Williams is. Your daughter will begin to feel more connected to her, which will make her feel more comfortable in the classroom. Your daughter’s developing fondness for the teacher will also help the teacher to respond more patiently towards your daughter.

2. Work with your daughter and the teacher on navigating transitions. Imagine your daughter at school, engaged in a task. The teacher interrupts her with a request. Naturally, it’s hard for her to shift gears. Most kids, especially those we call “strong-willed,” find transitions tough. Notice what helps your daughter with transitions at home. A two minute warning? Having you touch her or look her in the eye while you make the request? Being able to take charge of the “clean-up” process herself? Then work with the teacher to formulate an approach that works for your daughter and the teacher won’t find burdensome. Maybe your daughter needs a two minute warning, or the reassurance that she can return to her current activity at another time. Maybe she needs to know at the start of an activity how long it will last before the next one. Maybe the teacher needs to show her the chart of the day’s activities, so she begins to know what to expect.

3. Help your daughter to regulate her stress level, both in and out of the classroom. Here’s a challenging environment, and your daughter is regulating herself by focusing on a task. She doesn’t respond immediately to the teacher because taking in that new demand jeopardizes her self-regulation in the face of the stressful environment. A better relationship with the teacher will motivate her to want to please the teacher, but we still need to help her with her stress level and self-regulation.

How? First, if the teacher can find other ways to help your daughter feel in control, she won’t need to assert control in opposition to the teacher. This will also defuse the potential power struggle. Suggest to the teacher that she give your daughter a choice when she makes a request: “Do you want to clean up the crayons and wash your hands for lunch now, or in two minutes when we ring the bell for everyone to wash hands?” “Do you want to put the puzzle away yourself, or do you want me to help you?” Choices help the child feel in control, which helps her regulate her internal stress levels. Strong-willed kids especially need to be given choices, or they dig in their heels against external pressure.

Staying connected to your daughter will also help her regulate her stress level. Make sure that every day after school you have special time with your big girl to hear all about her day, whether it’s a 3pm snack or a long snuggle after lights-out. You might also give her a way to hold onto you during the day, like a laminated picture of the family or a paper heart with a love note.

Create a calm household routine with early bedtimes and peaceful mornings; kids who aren’t well-rested don’t have the internal resources to be be flexible with the demands of the school day. It’s also a good idea to explore whether your daughter has any fears or worries about school that are making her anxious. Finally, being sure that you’re a few minutes early to pick up your child from school is a guaranteed anxiety-reducer (and being late is guaranteed to exacerbate a preschooler’s anxiety level!)

Together, these three principles -- Strengthen your daughter's relationship with the teacher, Work with your daughter and the teacher on navigating transitions, and Reduce your daughters' stress level -- will help your daughter adjust to the demands of the classroom. I wish you happy parenting!

Kind regards,
Dr. Laura Markham

Laura Markham, Ph.D., is the Dear Abby of Parenting for the 21^st century. A clinical psychologist trained at Columbia University in NewYork, she is the founding editor of the popular parenting website YourParentingSolutions.com.

In addition to Hip Slope Mama, she serves as Parenting Expert for ParentingBookmark.com, Storknet.com, Wellness.com and Pregnancy.org, on which she hosts a regular online chat for moms. Her work appears regularly on a dozen parenting websites and in print. She lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn with her husband, 12 year old daughter, and 16 year old son. If you have any parenting questions for the Good Dr. Laura please send them to HipSlopeMama@gmail.com.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Altruistic Shouldism VS Authentic Goal Setting

By Rahti Gorfien

So I was recently talking to another creative-eclectic-professional-mom; a client actually. When I asked what her ideal day would look like she said rather ruefully: ‘A day at the spa!’ To which she quickly added: “But I know I SHOULD…..” Well now. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that answer, and in truth, therein lays a tale, a little hint, as it were, as to what this lady (and many of us) truly need. Our Altruistic Shoulds as I’ve dubbed them, are often at odds with another hidden agenda. Ever try going in two directions at once? It’s a great way to stand still. So what’s the solution? Is her right-purpose to sauna herself to oblivion because that’s what feels good? No, but she should look at her desire, and not judge and dismiss it as selfish. There is great power in self-care. I’m not just talking pedicures: Paradoxically, boundaries help me get closer to people and taking the time to ‘pleasure myself’ in every sense of the word makes me more enthusiastic about being of service and support to friends, family and colleagues. What does she want from the spa? My guess is strength, health, serenity, energy. All the stuff that empowers us to be the happy, productive and fulfilled individuals we aspire to being.

In my playwrighting persona I wrote a one act a couple of years ago, in which I quoted the airline emergency speech line ‘put your oxygen mask on first’… The logic of that is obvious, right? You cannot create and manifest a life vision based purely on intellectual, altruistic shoulds. You’ve got to weigh in what your gut has to say, and make sure you’re tending to your needs appropriately. Selling a painting won’t make you feel good about yourself for very long. Do you still enjoy painting? Or are you setting yourself up by putting the pressure of financial solvency completely on your art? That’s joy-kill right there.

Do you have a happy home life and loyal friends, or are you relying on professional validation to feel appreciated? It isn’t always all or nothing like that, but we can all afford to examine the underlying motivation for our goals from time to time, to make sure our desires are integrated and needs are being appropriately met. Otherwise, ambivalence is bound to be a constant, and enthusiasm will easily wane. Our vocational work, and creative endeavors are a form of self-care, to be sure. But life is, after all, a balancing act. Hey, I don’t need to tell you that!

Rahti Gorfien, of Creative Calling Coaching, is a Life Coach and Park Slope mom, specializing in creative mothers with universal and yet unique challenges to succeed both personally as mothers and professionally as artists. She is also a regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama. Join her Yahoo Group for additional tips and essays.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009

Dreyer Family Band: Kid's Music You Won't Scratch Your Face Off To!

"A Family Project Turns Into a Kids' Music Masterpiece" from ABOUT.COM
"Never before has an album bathed in such warmth been so darn cool."
from OUT WITH THE KIDS
"One of the best kids CD's of 2009" from KIDS MUSIC THAT ROCKS

In this case, a family that plays together truly rocks together. Of the many great kids bands the Dreyer Family Band has the perfect balance between adult/child entertainment. All the joy and and excitement without having to calm your kids down for hours after the show. It's a blend of earthy & quirky, without being corny. Listen for yourselves HERE. It's become a favorite of ours. We listen to it at home & in the car and it always puts us in a great mood!

The Dreyer family recently moved to Park Slope, Brooklyn. Hip Slope Mama took some time to welcome them and chat about living in the Slope. We also asked them about the inspiration to create their new album Family Photograph (you can purchase it HERE!):

HSM: When did your family move to Park Slope & how do you like it so far?

Dreyer Family Band: We moved in May 15 after downsizing our life from a house upstate and a West Village apartment. We love it here and I can NOT stop pinching myself. I happened upon Puppet Works the other day - I mean really... a whole building dedicated to puppets - 3 blocks away 'CMON!!! Some nights before she falls sleep, my two-year old Finley says "I like it here." We are enjoying this enchanting summer while we wander and fall totally in love with Park Slope.

HSM: What made you decide to put together this album? What was your inspiration?

Dreyer Family Band: It was magic and happenstance. We happened to have our recording studio upstate (in our converted garage:). Annie and Matt wrote and were playing these songs with their kids in their living room every night in San Diego. They played them for us in July during a family trip in July '08 and we were all like "hmmmmm - we could DO this!". Matt flew out to NY in September and we recorded the music with a bunch of great musicians. In October the whole San Diego bunch flew out and we spent nine hilarious, creative and totally magical days recording vocals. As far as inispiration... as Annie said in another interview: "This record is our children and us and, hopefully, your children and you and everyone. This record to us is LOVE (cheesy as it sounds),it’s the love in creativity, in togetherness, in nature, in memories. I hope other families feel it, and I definitely hope someone out there sings “Covers” to their babes the way we have to ours. And I hope that if the words aren’t quite exactly right for them, that they write their own songs that fit perfectly. That’s what we did."

Family Photograph CD - Buy it HERE

HSM: What's your favorite song on the album & why?

Dreyer Family Band: Each member of the family answered this one:

Matt - How to Be Happy, "I love it because it is Annie and my way to explain how we have stayed together for 21 years! Plus I got the banjo part right (in honor of Neil Young’s 'For the Turnstiles'). Emmett’s high vocal harmony is pretty outstanding too."

Emmett - Imagination, "Pop sings it for me, and I love classic rock."

Mac - You Get What You Get. "It's hilarious."

Craig - Home, "Mac just kills me and the track has the 3 dimensional feel I'm always looking for in my recordings."

Cami - The I Love You Song "It's the one that started it all," Cutie Baby, "because it marks the time when Finley was a little baby like nothing else - I even call her 'bouncy ball' at times."

Annie - The I Love You Song in a tie with Big Green Tree, "I think both are what its all about!" Silas- Mad (everday for a YEAR!!)

Baby Fee- Home...imagine a litte two year old redhead singing, "home, home, home":)

Nana - (she's not technically on the record but definitely a part of the record...) Totem Party"What is it about Totem Party? Because it says a little something about each and everyone of the family."

HSM: What are your backgrounds in music?

Dreyer Family Band: Craig and Matt have played all different kinds of instruments since they were 10. Currently Craig is a professional saxaphone and keyboard player here in NYC and owns Mighty Toad recording studio in Brooklyn. Matt plays the banjo like a fiend these days. Annie started writing songs in the spring of '08 the minute the idea occured to her that she could and hasn't stopped. Cami had an entire school life in choir K-12; Mac is 12 and has been taking piano since she was 4 and is currently passionate about the guitar she that got for her birthday this year. Emmett has also been taking piano since 4 years old. Silas and Finley - the babies - are studying music theory. (just kidding - though they do laugh and cry with great gusto and skill on the record::)))

HSM: What do you think is the recipe for good kid's music?

Dreyer Family Band: Simply, I think it is just that... GOOD music. Good lyrics, good melody, good musicians, good intentions, good feelings.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009

What is the Difference Between Preschool & PreK?: “Intro to Nursery School” Talks in Brooklyn

By Joyce Szuflita

Daycare is childcare to help working parents. It can start in infancy and continue until children are ready for more formal education.

In general, preschool and nursery school (interchangeable terms) start when children turn two or three years old. There are a lot of significant developmental changes that occur in the year after a child turns two. Not all nursery/preschool programs have twos programs, and not all two year olds are ready for school. They are often very small classes and may not be available for children that turn two in the fall after the school’s age cut off. Children usually move on to different Kindergarten programs at 5 years, but some schools have certification through 5 years and some independent schools continue on though elementary to middle and high school. Most schools in Brooklyn provide tours and begin the application process in the fall a year before the children will enter school.

PreKindergarten (PreK) programs are for four year olds. At this point there are more choices. The public schools have limited seats available in their free PreK programs. Some private nursery schools have a reduced fee in the fours year because they get some UPK (Universal PreK) funding.

Even though most high quality nursery and prek programs are “play based”, there are some significant differences in philosophy between programs. The children are learning a lot through play – self-regulation, socialization, confidence, pre -literacy, math, science and lots of art. It is not just babysitting.

I am holding a couple of “Intro to Nursery School” talks. I will be talking about:

• nursery school philosophies
• what to look for on a tour
• what you need to know to keep the search under control and in perspective
• Lots of Q&A.

I won't be discussing individual schools at this event
$20. for an individual /$30. for a family
RSVP to joyce@nycschoolhelp.com


Tuesday, August 11 at 7pm - 8:30pm
at NYC Explorers 388 Atlantic Ave. (between Hoyt and Bond)

Wednesday, Sept. 9 at 10am - 11:30am
at Hootenanny Art House 15th St. (@ 8th Ave. Brooklyn)

Thursday, Sept. 24 at 7pm - 8:30pm
at Still Hip 283 Grand (between Lafayette and Clinton Pl.)

Joyce Szuflita is a working mother of twins. She has been a Brooklyn resident for 28 years. As NYC School Help, she consults with families who are doing the school search; public or private, nursery school through high school. Her aim is to save you time, clarify your priorities, present you with thorough information in a clear uniform format so that you can make an informed decision about your child's education. She takes a crazy stressful process and makes it clear and manageable. Joyce is also a regular contributor to Hip Slope Mama.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009

Perfect Summer Recipe: Watermelon, Lime and Feta Salad

By Christina Stanley-Salerno

Some days I’m just too tired to cook. This was the case last Thursday night. I came home from work with very low energy (what else is new) and I still had to make dinner, give my 11 month old a bath, clean up the dinner dishes and put my son to bed before even thinking of sitting down. UGH! These kind of days are typical for a working mama and even-though I have a hubby who is very good at splitting all of our chores, two working parents still does not equal any energy to spare.


Since it’s summer, I take a lot of help from our outdoor grill. Grilling is great because it minimizes clean-up and keeps the heat out of our house. I decided that I would throw some sausages on the grill but I wanted a light and refreshing salad to go with the meat. After a quick search in my fridge, I came up with this refreshing Watermelon, Lime and Feta Salad. Sounds like a strange mix, but the sweet/salty combo is a real winner!

This salad is perfect for a hot summer day. It takes only minutes to prepare which makes it a perfect dish to toss together right before your guests arrive at your next BBQ. Don’t have a grill, no problem serve this salad alongside some pan fried sausage.

Watermelon, Lime and Feta Salad
Serves 4-6 people

4 cups very cold watermelon, cut into 1-inch cubes
½ c cilantro, finely chopped
Juice of 2 limes
1 tsp sea salt (kosher salt will do as well)
½ c feta cheese

Toss watermelon, cilantro, lime-juice and salt in a large bowl. Gently stir in the feta and serve immediately.

Christina Stanley-Salerno’s culinary education started like most Italians-in her Grandma’s kitchen! Her tremendous love for food lead her to her career as a recipe developer. She is also the founder of TakeBackYourTable.com, a family-friendly recipe blog that gives ideas for fun healthy, simple recipes for busy families. She started the blog last year after the birth of her son, in order to empower and encourage families to Take Back the Table, and enjoy the tremendous emotional, financial, physical benefits of eating together as a family. This doesn't have to mean a six-course meal and fine china. Heck, it could mean a sandwich on a park bench. As long as you are eating quality food together as a family, the little details don't matter.

Christina is a regular contributor of Hip Slope Mama. Her recipes can also be seen on the pages of Every Day With Rachael Ray Magazine as well as on the popular sites Kaboose.com and New Parent.com.

She lives in Brooklyn with her husband James, son Griffin and their dog Ziggy Stardust.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009

How to Find a Great Nanny

By Sharon Tepper

Beginning a nanny search can be a daunting task. Determining whom to entrust with our children’s care can be a stressful decision.

Sharon Tepper, a local “mom-trepreneur” started Brownstone Nannies, Inc. a nanny referral service in Park Slope, to help other parents navigate this process. Here, she provides some tips for you in your search.

Here’s what Sharon focuses on when interviewing potential candidates:

• Length of previous employment. Has this person had a series of short stints with many families? Or longer-term engagements where she’s cared for children through all their different stages of growth.

• Communication. The parent-nanny relationship becomes almost as important as a marriage, and communication is key! You need to be able communicate your priorities, and trust your nanny to make independent decisions based on them.

• Patience. The cornerstone to working with kids. It takes a lot of warmth and a true love and respect for children.

• Common sense. When interviewing a candidate, Sharon always presents them with several scenarios we’re all bound to encounter when caring for small children. How have they responded to a medical emergency? How do they manage a toddler’s tantrum?

• Flexibility. Parents’ work schedules may change and they need a nanny to accommodate these changes. An extremely long commute to work can be a hindrance to possible scheduling changes. Flexibility also includes an openness on the part of the nanny to each parents’ preferred child-raising methods, including sleep training, food, and TV policies.

• Nanny’s own family and upbringing. How has the nanny raised her own kids? What values has she imparted to them?

For more information, or assistance with your own nanny search, you can reach Sharon at info@brownstonenannies.com or visit www.brownstonenannies.com.

Sharon Tepper is the President and Founder of Brownstone Nannies, Inc., a nanny referral service, in response to the growing need of parents in her community for assistance finding great childcare. Sharon approaches each placement from a mother’s perspective, focusing on the specific needs of each family.

Sharon received a Masters in Urban Planning from Harvard University, and a BS from Cornell University. She lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn with her husband and two children, ages 2 and 4. She is also a regular contributor of Hip Slope Mama.

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009

Follow Hip Slope Mama On Twitter & Facebook!

Follow Hip Slope Mama on Twitter and Facebook! Find out about upcoming Park Slope events via our Twitter Stream. Below are some of the posts/articles that we linked to on Twitter in the last month:



If you live in Brooklyn, I highly recommend this Sunday Suppers class-cooking-dining experience, Sun, 8/16 http://bit.ly/RIb04about 20 hours ago from web

RT @FSSimon Considering: "A-Ha! Learning Partners| Preschool play ideas for parents ( http://bit.ly/uGAUh )about 23 hours ago from web

My 2yr old son is in the Park Slope Reader posing in a coat by grt local kids clothing designer Half Dot Brooklyn: http://bit.ly/51PFW

Come to the complimentary yoga class at Lululemon's Brooklyn Showroom in Park Slope every Sat 10-11am! http://bit.ly/4bvN6Y

Bethany Frankel (Real Housewives of New York City) & I at an invitation only concert for Kanye West Thurs night http://twitpic.com/czuso

Rt @SwSatchidananda Our 1st & foremost duty toward building up our health is to take care of what we think. Invite only beautiful thoughts.


RT @TheBrooklynBeat RT @thedailybeast Carrie Bradshaw and Me: http://bit.ly/PVP9R

RT @ForbesWoman Oxford University says: Swedish husbands do the most housework! Sign me up! http://tw9.us/Al

Amen - RT @MagicalDays "This is what parenting is--shit. And food. And shit. And food. Mostly shit." ~Nancy Botwin, nightwaking on Weeds

No more battery operated toys! If I hear "I've Been Working On The Railroad" blurt out of Thomas The Train Guitar 1 more time, I'll loose it!

Hip Slope Mama contributor/Park Slope mom, Jen Lee, is a truly talented poet/writer. Here's her new book "Fortunes" http://bit.ly/3v8vt04:38 PM Aug 4th

RT @unmarketing Awesome, esp last paragraph RT @Aspiretoo: Tyler Perry Surprises Snubbed Kids with Trip to Disney World http://bit.ly/3hTwtZ

He did it. Hooray Bill! @BitchMedia Bill Clinton helps free Laura Ling & Euna Lee: http://bit.ly/JdGWF (via NYT)3:19 PM Aug 4th

Hip Slope Mama's Regular Contributor/Parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham's Radio Show ea Weds, Secrets of Happy Parents http://bit.ly/Gn71B3:13 PM Aug 4th from web

RT @lynncorinne You just got Posted! scathing *and* accurate response to WaPo notfunnyness: http://bit.ly/3n0khC

Just saw a man w/a coffee bean tattoo. As a coffee lover, I can't say I've reached that level of devotion yet, but I respect it1:40 PM Aug 4th from web

Hoopilates is pilates w/hoola hoops! Small, wkly classes in Prospect Park. RSVP for the next class $10 this Sun, 8/9 hoopilatesnyc@gmail.com10:10 AM Aug 4th from web

Hilarious! This is quite awesome. I can't stop watching KCSCougar's spoofs of Bravo Reality TV shows http://www.youtube.com/user...

RT @TheMamaBee Today at The Mama Bee: The Myth of the Judging Mommy and Why It's Hurting Women http://bit.ly/Wb1By

@TheBrooklynBeat Nothing like drummer's trance: Forgetting oneself in the power of the whole. Here is Drummer's Grove http://bit.ly/1f4GYC8:07 PM Aug 3rd from web

RT @CreativeBKLYN @effedparkslope: Gorgeous $7k/month apt 4 $700 from Daffys: http://bit.ly/rnkd2. Catch? You gotta make a pleading video
Who’s really winning the homebirth debate http://bit.ly/G2M6V

Free recording of webinar w/a brain development specialist. Learn about what's happening inside the minds of babies & toddlers http://bit.ly/xJWeN

“Chick lit” gets an update Rd about Prospect Park West, book about Park Slope moms http://bit.ly/10PKdJ RT @Amysohn @raquelita @doreeshafrir

Win a Catered Dinner for 10 (plus kids) from Susie's Supper Club over at @mommypoppins http://bit.ly/16F8r6

Watching all the retarded millionaires they cast for reality shows gives me hope that anyone can be wealthy if they put their mind to it.

RT @zen_habits The Collaboration Matrix or Why 1+1 = 3 http://is.gd/1ZLgj8:55 PM Aug 2nd from web

Just back from the drumming circle in Prospect Park. Did u know they have a children's corner there every Sunday w/facepainting & balloons?

Cheese has morphine in it? Well, that explains my addiction http://bit.ly/21bOc8

@workingmomfence @foodiemommy @gawker RT Prissy Food Bloggers Hate Food Blogger Movie http://gawker.com/5325827

Barbara Ensor's clay animation class 8/14-24! http://bit.ly/CYLeG + HSM: Barbara Ensor: On Being @ Home In The Slope http://bit.ly/XWc21

So true! RT@unmarketing How a confirmation call kill your website sign-ups (video) http://bit.ly/17TEN6

The following sites are gr8 4 parents of young kids looking 4 projects/ideas! @eensies @noflashcards @playfullearning

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Posted by Monkeydoodle at Friday, August 07, 2009